kinda went off a lil

long time no see! i haven't written in a while because there hasn't been much going on. i've been in a huge slump for the past few months, which has been a little disappointing. it's probably only going to continue as we get closer to winter, which is when i usually experience a lot of downtime.

on the bright side, there's only three weeks until i'm done with my degree! i don't actually recall if it's mentioned anywhere in my about section or if i've said it on the blog before, but i'm getting my AAS in programming and software design! it's been a long, tough road, but i'm finally reaching the end… maybe. i'm currently in the process of figuring out if i want to continue my education and get a bachelor's or jump straight into working. i actually met with an advisor today to discuss the possibilities, which was pretty enlightening! i was kinda hoping to transfer to a bigger school further away to continue my education, but since i didn't do the usual general studies, i may have a lot of work to do if i decide to transfer schools. i could be looking at another 3 to 3½ years of school if i go that route! not ideal. meanwhile, if i pursue a bachelor's at the school i'm already attending, it'll be easier.

i also talked a little with a career advisor about working, and since i'm looking to get into a pretty competitive field, it may be hard for me right now with nothing on my resume. i'm having a formal meeting with a career advisor on friday to prepare me for potentially working, but we'll see how that goes. i don't normally like spacing blog updates so close together, but i may make another post after that meeting to talk about that.

all in all, though… i just really want to get out of here. i'm stressed pretty often at home because my brother and SIL barely watch their oldest kid (who i love to bits, don't get me wrong, but i'd feel so much better if her parents did their jobs) and i live in a somewhat conservative area. that's not as bad as it could be, though, since i live in washington. at the very least, i'd like to try living on my own again - though actually on my own and not with strangers in a dorm room. i think i'm in a better place now than i was when i tried that. whatever path i take, i'll probably try to move out sometime next year.

i don't mean to get all down though! i don't like getting too heavy here if i can help it. it's not like things have been all bad, either. i've been having tons of fun with hundred line! i have less than 20 endings before i have all 100 and the last route i did, retsnom, totally destroyed me. darumi my angel… i've been toying with some fic ideas for the killing game polycule too. i also played and loved syrup 2 (or what's out of it so far at least!) and i've been getting into backpack hero and die in the dungeon again. i played those two when they were just demos on itch.io, but i played them so much i got tired of them so when the full games came out i didn't buy them lol. i've been really thankful for my steam deck; it was such a good purchase!

dungeons and dragons has also been really fun lately. it started with a train heist, and in this last session we started another heist. i've been having so much fun exploring this world! i also bought a solo ttrpg, notorious, that i've been itching to play. i need to just jump in and play; i'm being a little autistic about starting it because i feel like i have to start at exactly the perfect time to play a game all the way through, since sessions are typically an hour or two according to the guidebook. never give me numbers or i will be such a freak about them.

my own gamedev journey has slowed to a halt, unfortunately. i need to just get really obsessed with some ocs really fast i think. i keep thinking about going back and revising bunny quest but i've kinda lost interest in it now that the jam's over. maybe when school's over i can really crack down on some game stuff?

whew! this blog post really went on a rollercoaster. i hope you all have been doing well! i think i've said about everything i wanted to say tonight. i'll hopefully be back soon with something a little more positive, or at least less negative lol. see y'all later!